Beer Review

Once in a while you can really hit a jack pot!  Take this beer for example.  It is as offering from a brewery that I have never heard of, with a ingredient combination that I never would have thought of.  And I love it

Kona Brewing Co. offers us this beer called Koko Brown Ale.   It is a Medium colored ale (think of bronzed beauties soaking up sun on a beach for the color) with a sweet aroma with a heavy creamy head that laces well in a glass.  Almost pours like a lighter Guinness. 

But on to the important part.  The taste!  I should tell you first that this beer says very plainly on the label that it is made with toasted coconut.  I have never seen this, and obviously not ever having seen it have never tried brew with toasted coconut in it.  I must admit, when I put the bottle to my lips I almost feared that I was going to be drinking watery Hawaiian Tropic lotion, however the balance of the malty and nutty flavor was a pleasant surprise.   Even with it's dark mahogany color the beer is decidedly smooth and easy to drink.  With a slight hint of molasses and a strong coconut flavor it is not at all what I thought it would be.

This beer puts me in a good spot.  It's like a deserted beach in a bottle!  I can almost picture the sand, blue water, girls with coconut tops.  I just close my eyes and I am there.  The sea, the briny breeze.  The warm sun.  Ah hell who am I kidding?  Although this beer does a damn good job of getting me there, it is done all too soon, and I am back in my drafty house, with my noisy dogs and of course it is raining outside.  And no matter how many times I tell my wife to wear some coconuts over her hoo hoos.  She just won't do it.  I guess some Koko Brown Ale will have to do for now!

And remember:  "Good people drink good beer."  Hunter S. Thompson

Beer Review

Here we go again!  Time for the second review from a master idiot on beer.  I am writing this as I sit and drink the beer I am talking about.  The Leinenkugel 1888 Bock.  It is also a beer in the Spring Sampler pack so you don't think that I am just drinking and talking about Leinenkugel.  I promise, that after this blog, I will give my lame opinion on something else entirely. 

As that is now out of the way, lets continue.  It takes a special beer drinker to drink a bock.  I have just recently discovered that I actually like bocks.  I have tried to drink them in the past and haven't had much luck in enjoying them.  It wasn't until I slowed down, and savored beer, enjoying the different tastes and complexities that I found myself really liking the darker heavy beer.

Leinenkugel comes to the table with a bock that is no different from others really.  It is a malty heady beer that to me tastes like liquid bread.  It is certainly not a "all day drink to get drunk" beer, but definitely has a place in the fridge for one of those easy going moments when you really just want to sit and enjoy a great beer.  The 1888 Bock is smooth and malty.  It has a great smoky aroma and is dark like it should be.  This does not drink like water, as you will feel like you are drinking a beer on this one.  The flavors of caramel and barley seem to start and finish this beer, and the after taste is clean but still noticeable on the palate. 

To me personally this, like most bocks I have tried is a "sippin" beer.  Not one that I would sit and drink all night to have a plastered good time.  But never the less I would not turn it down if I were at your house and you offered it to me.  For people that truly enjoy the Bock this is a good steady go to beer for you.  I also believe that it is also a good one to try if you have never really had a bock before, as it is what a one should be, but not over powering in its flavors.  As always, ideas on what to try are appreciated, and feedback is always good too.   

GIRL RUMOR going on BLAST!

"Girls mature faster than boys."  You've heard that right?  We have all heard it.  Hell it was taught to me in school!  Girls are inherently going to mature faster than boys.  Physically, emotionally, spiritually, you name it, they do it faster.  It is accepted as FACT.

I couldn't disagree more with the statement that girls mature faster than boys.  Basis of my disagreement you ask?  Simple, I have science on my side.  The statement itself is flawed.  Think about it.  "Girls mature faster than boys" implies that boys eventually mature.  Yes I said it.  And I absolutely mean it.  Boys never really grow up.  I know that women reading this are all thinking the same thing.  "I KNEW IT!"  Don't get yourselves ahead of the apple cart yet ladies.  This isn't a man bash.  It is a factual observation and a celebration of the absurd.

 Sure we put on a great veneer of "responsibility" and "maturity", but think about it.  When was the last time you ladies laughed hysterically at a fart?  Been a while?  Guys?  I giggled my ass off yesterday at a gassy incident.  This type of humor is a staple for the proverbial Pan.  Think about it gentlemen, seeing someone slip on the ice or trip and fall on uneven sidewalk, you have a smile right now reading this don't you?  And it starts young.  My four year old son has the same humor as I do as well as a natural propensity for boobs.  And it never goes away, my father in law still laughs at farts, oogles boobies, and makes fun of everyone and everything.

It's not even in behavior that we remain forever young.  It is in what holds our interest.  Big trucks, fast cars, sick bikes, tattoos, sports, you name it.  If a kid likes it, chances are a guy likes it too.  Sure we have adult interests, but name one time fellas you didn't rubber neck passing a construction sight to see the crane or big wheeled earth mover.  Would you pass up a chance to ride a quad through a mud puddle?  I know I sure as hell wouldn't, that shit is FUN!  We do grow up, no doubt about it, but we never mature.  I wouldn't have it any other way either.  To hell with growing old and not finding stuff funny or exciting.  I don't want to leave Neverland.  The adult world sucks anyway.  But if you disagree with me that is fine, I'll just crop dust you when I walk past with my buddies.  Then we will laugh about it as you look around trying to figure out where the "phantom smell" came from.

A brief exploration of men (taken from my fb notes)

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What happened to men?  Socially speaking of course.  Underwear ads of hairless men, perfectly chiseled with a stone gaze and soft eyes.  Where did we lose our way I wonder?  Where did all these smells for men come from?  And why do they all smell floral and fruity?  Long gone is the creature that we as boys grew up aspiring to be.  Those hard men, strong in their views and vast in their knowledge.  Men who worked with their hands.  Men whose scars read like road maps of experience.  Calloused in skin and pugnacious in spirit.  We now live in a world of compromise and less than forward thinking.  Adventure and imagination are replaced by the proverbial dipping the toe in the waters.  Testing before leaping.  Making sure we offend no one with our masculinity.  God forbid my facial hair doesn't meet your standards.  Do you really think that GQ, or Vogue for men or whatever the hell is published now for the alpha, told our Grandfathers how to dress, act, or speak?  Let's be honest, do you think John Wayne smelled of Dior Noir, or Kenneth Cole, or DKNY?  NO! He smelled like old spice and cigarettes.  What about James Dean?  Think he ever needed help to do something?  Or did he take out his pocket knife and man up and do it his God Damned self?  When was the last time you saw your pap drink anything but beer and bourbon/scotch on the rocks?  These were men.  Interesting men, strong and smart.  Men who could DO things.  Not pay other men to do things.  Men who could change their own oil, fix their sinks, tie knots, shoot guns and drink you under the table.  These were men we wanted to learn from. We wanted to hear their stories.  Understand their past so we could be the same.  So what have we learned?  What are we doing now that the torch is officially passed?   We are going to salons not barber shops, we are concerned with our underwear tags, and our hairy chests.  We are what they would call sissys, pansies and nancies.  And we call that Metro sexual.  We call it stylish, and refined.  I propose a reawakening of the male of this species.  Get a tattoo, carry a case knife.  Get involved in your own masculinity.  Stop pussy footing around!  Be a man of your word after you speak your mind.  Stand on the principles and values that made us men to begin with!  I am as guilty as the next.  But no more.  It is time to start acting like a man again.  So we can show our boys what they should be when they become men.  And if you are a guy reading this, you either embody what I admire, or are the antithesis of it.  I will leave it up to you to decide which you are....you nancy

Beer Review

Leinenkugel's Honey Weis

Let me start off by saying that I am in no way credentialed to talk about beer, which makes me a perfect critic.  I do love the suds though, and enjoy sampling anything new that I can get my hands on.  I have become enamored with the different tastes, the light flavors, the heavy feels, even the specific ways to drink beer.  The search is even half the fun.  Learning about beer has become a bit of a hobby for me, and I am excited to share what I can in opinions about the different beers that I sample.  This is also a way to keep in check my alcoholic ways, and really see what I drink on a week to week, even yearly basis. 
HA!  Now that that is out of the way I am starting off with the Leinenkugel Spring sampler pack, which is always one of my go to purchases in the spring.  Most of my friends know that I am a Leinie fan, and the usual stock in the fridge is the Sunset Wheat.  But I have tried every beer that Leinenkugel has to offer, and haven't found one that I dislike.  There are some that I prefer, but can't say that there are any that are out in the cold for me. 
To the left is an empty bottle of Honey Weiss (which my wife says is pronounced Vise, and as she is German...I cannot argue, but do simply as a point).  This is my favorite beer in the Leinie line.  It is perfect on a  spring day when you are outside, doing work that you would rather be drunk doing!  The Honey Weiss has a great finish that is clean and crisp, while the honey in the beer is not overwhelming.  There is a slight after taste to it that I can only describe as dew off of green grass in a bottle.  As for food pairings, I would personally recommend this with everything from fish, to burgers and dogs.  But this beer stands well on it's own, and is a "drink all dayer".  The only thing that I can honestly find to complain about this beer is that to my knowledge it is a seasonal beer.  That makes me a sad panda.  But who knows, maybe if I could soak myself in it year round, perhaps it would lose its appeal.  At any rate Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss is a great beer in my humble, inebriated opinion.  I would say that I recommend it to you, but let's be honest, I would advise consuming any brew that you wish.  Lord knows that is what I am doing. 

Also as a brief side note, any input good or bad is appreciated.  Try not to be a prick though, but if there is no way around it, so be it.  If you have any beers you want to suggest and have me sample, please post that as well.  Thanks for reading my ramble. 

Let's see where this takes us....

So....this is the initial foray into the world of "bloggers".  This is a short and sweet note to let anyone who is interested know that I am going to give this a whirl.  What could I possibly write about?  I have no clue to be honest.  Ramblings, booze, things humor, we'll take this ride together!  I think the first few posts will be me getting used to this whole ordeal.  Dip the toe in so to speak.  Perhaps write about something that I know a little about.  Like beer for example!  Yeah that makes sense.  Fat drunk stupid guy writes about beer and what different ones he has tried.  Perhaps what they pair well with.  Maybe even give a colorful description of the flavor pallet of said nectar.  Yes that will do.  Maybe I will even give it a go tonight.   Now to figure out how to work this glowing box thingy that is making pretty words appear when I hit this key board in front of me.